The Confident A$$ho!e.
- Crys_j_cole
- Feb 20, 2019
- 5 min read
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
As I'm riding to work listening to the hum of my car, and the two Yeti's clank together in the cup holder. I think to myself, I need to get my tire pressure checked. My car is at the PAID OFF point where the lights light up at random for no reason at all, just because of being seasoned. They always tell me its just the sensor, so I just try to make sure I am getting my car's vitals checked regularly.
ANYway, I'm driving and focusing on the road, but my mind drifts off into a recent experience I had with an old male "friend..."
Check it, I sort of realize I have a tendency to be attracted to these men who have the look I want, but they are sometimes real @$$holes. Let me be honest, (Most times they ARE. Period. Point. Blank.) I have been guilty of miscalculating their arrogance for confidence. Misunderstanding their sly comments which are generally rude as fcuk, and just looked over them or had a conversation in my head that that’s not what they meant.
Truly, nothing has really happened, but It comes as a small part of the collection of things guys have said/done from time to time, so it’s basically things I've noticed or personally experienced. I know I've been nothing but kind to these guys, but sometimes they say mean things or have an attitude with me. (sometimes I'm so caught up on how dreamy they are and miss the F(uK boy stuff they say. Then I realized this is the behavior of a lot of attractive , physically fit TALL men. (The type I tend to be attracted to... bury's face in hands)
According to Psychology Today, Tall man syndrome is the Doctors name for a pattern of narcissism they have seen all too often in clinical practice. As a psychologist who specializes in working with high level professional and business people, the doctor states what they have learned from their clients, that being....
Extra-smart, extra-handsome, especially athletic or outstanding in any way--including for women, being extra-attractive-- can have its costs. Success and respect from others, can breed narcissistic habits.
Narcissism is a tendency to believe that it's all about me and therefore that what you say doesn't matter. Height and other special-ness factors can lead someone to feel that he or she is above others in all ways. I am better than you, and I am generally right. When your viewpoint differs from mine, what you say, think, or would like therefore must be wrong so I react to what you say with dismissal or disparagement. Tall man syndrome also creates a feeling of being above the rules that everyone else is expected to follow. Narcissists typically believe the rules don't apply to me.
Perhaps the tall man syndrome accounts for why the folks who look most physically attractive often turn out to have difficulties sustaining long-term relationships. Beautiful women who have been successful at work, and handsome men with muscular bodies, positions of power and charismatic personalities, can turn out to be excessively egocentric, meaning the following"It's all about me, NOT YOU"
The Doctor states, Fame and celebrity, health, status, good looks and height all can be captivating. Being high up in any positive trait--smart, athletic, funny as well as physically tall or high in status—conveys empowerment. Does being famous or exceptional in some way also mean that someone will be a good partner in love and life? Maybe, and maybe not. If being outstanding leads to feeling above others, the person who looks so special may turn out to be a potent inducer of depression, anger, and anxiety in partners.
The doctor also states, that While people prone to depression tend to feel negative about themselves, seeing yourself as too special, too entitled to special privileges, and too above everyone else can be debilitating in an opposite way. Being too high on yourself invites relationship and marriage problems.
I know what your probably thinking.. (cuz as I read this article, I know what I'm thinking... Two things.. 1) Do I as an attractive woman act in this way??? 2) How can I avoid these types of men? (I digress)
The doctor speaks about a few signs that will be obvious when involving yourself with these types of guys;
Take a look at their marriages or relationships: all disasters. Their wives/girlfriends are typically angry and depressed. Somewhere along the road to wife-dom, they felt that they had disappeared. (that's what I felt with my ex) Only their husband's/boyfriends viewpoints mattered. Only his work mattered. Their relationship was all about him.
The doctor states, "When I looked at the narcissists' their track records for monogamy I saw more disasters. Tall men syndrome fellows believed that the rules for normal mortals didn't apply to them." (My ex-man wanted EVERY other woman on the planet, every girl in the world, in my Lil’ Wayne voice, lmao)
Their ability to listen to their wives' concerns—or, for that matter, to listen to what the doctor would try to say though they were paying them top dollar per minute—was remarkably low.
What would they talk about? It was "Me, Me, Me" if the topic was something positive, and "You (the wife/girlfirend)..., you ..., you..." for anything critical.
Yet for the most part all these men were engagingly fun to talk with—or rather, to listen to, as monologue was more their habit than dialogue. (as long as you're talking about them, then all is well)
Ya'll Narcissistic abuse is one of the worse types of psychological abuse that one person can do to another, but unfortunately, many people are stuck in these types of relationships. Once you get OUT of these types of relationships you should seek immediate counseling.
Sometimes, as a child with and an emotionally abusive parent, it causes you to gravitate towards these types of people (My stepmother was the culprit for me growing up) It caused me as an adult to gravitate towards a narcissistic partner, the effect is the same—narcissistic abuse that can leave much more than just emotional damage.
What’s the summary of all of this? Man, I know I don't know all the frikkn' answers. (covers face, lol) But just Try to meet someone who truly knows how to treat you as a human being regardless of how they look. Seek out an individual who lets you be true to who you are, without sacrificing your well being, and the not giving up this especially things about you that makes "YOU." We all want the "dream guy/girl" but sometimes they can be VERY damaging to our mental health, because they are broken.
Am I NOT saying all TALL men Are JERKS! No! This information Is centered around my personal experiences and the doctors findings during private counseling sessions as a Psychiatrist. (A Narcissist will read this and go directly to the website to pick apart the doctor, and possibly even the wording. And come up with reasons as to why this is BULL-$h!t) Look take what you want out of this, again, it’s all just Experiences
All I want to say is, Steer clear, and be careful out there. (Trust me, I'm taking my OWN advice as well.)
The Narcissists are lurking....
#mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #love #sad #mentalillness #art #quotes #life #mentalhealthawareness #depressed #suicide #selfharm #selfcare #health
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