10 Things you prolly don't know about me, It's also possible not to care...

Low-Key (I'm a foodie) Sunday Brunch @ Common Bond

1) I don't know how to ride a bike.

Check it, My mom used to try and run with me and hold up the back, She would always cough because her Cancer made her lungs crap. Countless oxygen tanks, and experimental drugs, weren't able to save her. I put the bike down, and focused on her. (and played more inside to be closer to and with her, until her death. ) So riding a bike wasn't a priority. (But I love Indoor Cycling on a stationary bike, you know that doesn't move.) I've been told by Several Folks they gon help me. (yeah.. lol)

2) I sometimes wish I could get through life without social interaction.

I love the (few) friends I have, but sometimes, I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to hear what they think, feel, what happened to them. Hell, at times, I don't want to talk out-loud, and sometimes keeping distance from people seems to keep drama and discord out of my life. I'm truly living in a place of peace, and sometimes I just don't feel like the trouble. (Yeah its weird, but, its a fact...)

3) I care to be liked. (but I've learned to deal with it when folks don't like me)

I was one of those kids that wanted to confront everyone who didn't like me, and wanted to know WHY. How could you not like me? I'm one of the coolest human beings on this planet. lol. (I digress) It was more so of not wanting to be rejected. It's just one of those things, people wont like you, and you (I) won't like people. (Everything still works out.)

4) Mother passed away when I was 9 years old.

My mother had a rare form of lung cancer. My brother believes it was from Asbestos at her old school Gregory Lincoln. I really don't know, but what I do know is that.. she's not alive anymore, and Cancer was the murderer.

5) I hate to hear people complain. (for too long)

Shut up, SHUT up, SHUT UP! I heard this phrase/saying a long time ago, complaining is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but gets you no where.

6) Long Stares, make me speak to people.

I get it, Its the big fro, its the lips. Is the little boo-tay. I get it. But just look for a second, and literally take a mental picture. It gets to be unbearable, Ill just say. "Hello How are you doing?" That usually makes them turn their head abruptly and they stop looking. Maybe one day no one will look at me, maybe they will. I just try to take it as a compliment. (but I still will speak, lol)

7) Enjoy alone time. (ALOT)

I'm more of the social anti-social. I can hang and do the social butterfly thing, In the same breath, when I want to be left alone, Im gonna make it happen. I take a page out of one of my good friends we now call "Ghost" book. I just pack up, and walk out. lol.

8) My relationship with one my ex-best friends still surprises me that it is wasn't as strong as I thought.

My ex who was a real peace of shit, (who I never want to see again) told a deep secret I carried with me that could effect her. I should've never told him anything. I learned so much from the psychopath. He was destructive like that. He got a rush out of being that way. He would always apologize like the typical abuser does but then again, just know they will revert back to their same antics after some time had passed. Focus, It bothered me because I assumed (like an idiot) that the bond she and I shared was stronger than any other. But you live and learn. I don't think of her much anymore, only when someone asks me about her, but other than that. Not at all. I wish her all the best. If you can help it avoid relationships with narcissistic people. (they are truly dangerous)

9) I'm a Survivor of an Emotional and Physically Abusive Relationship.

I'm here, I'm alive and I'm continuously growing everyday. I went through counseling, I went through many personal changes, I am STILL growing. I'm so grateful to the City of Houston's District of Attorney's office for helping me put a Restraining/Protective Order in place. I appreciate you calling his job to make sure he understood I didn't want anything else to do with him. I am happy I had family who continuously prayed for me, and a job at the time, was understanding. An amazing incredible cousin (TT, I love you so much) who shared her amazing journey with me. Truly It was the beginning of me regaining my life back. Which is also why I don't have time for folks in my life that remind me, in ANY way of the type of treatment I received in that relationship. If I see it, sense it, second guess that they're anything like that. I cut them OFF. and thats real. Its a safety thing.

10) I have a fear of dying. (Or Ceasing to existing)

I don't want to leave this earth without making a mark on this world. I also have a fear of not existing anymore. Like I know that you live, and eventually you die. It is just a scary thought. I don't want to think of the world going on with out me. I don't want to think of the moment in time when I am slipping into darkness, and then.. thats it. Its over. (its an interesting thought, but its true.) Truthfully, I’m trying to make the moments worth it.

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